Free or Paid?
With this writing I love to share what moved me and how I came to my decision to share the newsletters and publications of The Art of CCB(s) as a gift and what this choice in essence encompasses.
‘That is the fundamental nature of gifts; they move and their value is increased with their passage (…) The more something is shared the greater its value becomes.’
~ Braiding Sweetgrass by Robin Wall Kimmerer, chapter The gifts of Strawberries ~
While I am setting up this Substack account for The Art of Curious, Conscious Being(s) I feel delighted. Here is a beautiful opportunity that enables me to meet people with similar interests and create a place where I can share my Artwork and publications. And I might even earn some money with it to buy food or pay a bill (realistically, I don’t have the illusion that I will make a living and earn a fortune out of it and I am open to be surprised … :)).
Soon the question arose in me; what to share with free subscribers, paying and founding ones?
Here’s my story …
As an autodidact, I dedicated my life to understand what is happening underneath the mainstream and in the depths of life. In dimensions that are avoided out of fear to get lost in it and at the same time have an attraction, because of the answers they bear in their core within them.
For several decades I moved mountains and digged deep into my inner life. Moving in and out of dimensions filled with grief and euphoric moments until everything slowed down, became silent and I turned inwards. To open myself in the midst of darkness, not knowing anymore what to do next, and listened to the reality and meaning that had led to this moment in my life. And when I finally understood the message life wished me to became aware of I popped out on the other side, changed and open to let go of what no longer served.
Rooting, grounding, incarnating me in (my) life.
Living through poverty and many confronting and painful happenings life offered me, in order to answer my questions on levels I could hardly imagine their existence, the answers that made me remember myself became lived experiences that turned into a knowledge about life and a knowing of what is living.
It’s how I became aware that when the essence of a message of life is understood in all its dimensions, it doesn’t have to be repeated and be lived anymore. For me it means that life is making me aware of an inner compass, one I can count on, and that it is guiding me to a deeper sense of true love. As it does for others too.
And … it’s an ongoing process.
‘ Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves like locked rooms and like books that are written in a very foreign tongue. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answer.’
~ Rainer Maria Rilke ~
I learned from the best.
From scientists and researchers and their findings and discoveries in a variety of fields.
From the diversity of religions, philosophical movements myths and the wisdom of indigenous people who share stories that can pave a path to find your own roadmap in life.
From human right activists, artists, writers, poets, dancers, performers.
From nature
And everyone I met and meet, who shares her-they-his story. Their life experiences, thoughts and lifelessons.
Most of all I learned from the ones who struggled intense in hard, inhumane circumstances and find their way out of it. The ones who managed to become wise, gentle, decisive human beings with a dance in their bodies, a twinkle in their eyes and a whisper in their bones. The ones who possess an authenticity and natural sovereignty based on an earned by life wisdom, you just don’t mess with them.
Because when you do their words will haunt you for the rest of your life. They talk to your conscience and that’s someone who cannot be denied, whatever you do, wherever you go … Her voice follows you until you sit down, open yourself and listen to her. Until you stop yourself from running and face your reality, so you can clean up the mess you created and start healing.
Which might take several lifetimes and reincarnations …
And last but not least I learned from my loved ones. Especially from ‘my’ Ans, who is living through her life, making it her own, in her own unique way. And who is being a wise, bright and shining light in my life.
It was inevitable and needed to dive in the opposite too. In the pain inflicting happenings and life stories of the careless and indifferent ones. The narcissists, extremists and dictators. The ones who refuse to open and listen to the pain they cause.
Being hypnotized by their self-created truths over reality and held hostage by their own convictions, treating others the same. Spreading more pain in the name of …?. I wondered what happened to them that they became this way, convinced of their right to disrespect and violate other one’s right to exist and live their lives in peace? Apparently being able to find somewhere within themselves a justification for their actions, based on a belief that they are doing the right thing ...
Knowing how life works is one thing, living it is quite another. So life presented me with many challenges to live through myself. Sigh. Still, compared to other lives, I feel blessed to have been invited to live mine.
Combining the knowledge I gained with the lived experiences brought me insights in the way life evolves and how it )‘talks’ to us. Insights in the language of life and how it tells itself inside us and shows itself, to us to make us aware of what is needed to do to survive and live (our) life. To form and give shape to the love for the soul we in essence all are.
It’s been a day job.
‘life is not a problem to be solved but a reality to be experienced’
~ Søren Kierkegaard ~
What I became aware of.
In the summer of 2023 I became aware how true it is that people get lost in their lives when they are deprived from their language and the mythical stories their ancestors shared for ages, the ones they can relate to. Confusedly searching for who they really are, they conform to those who tell them who they are and obey their rules. Open and loyal to the ones who feed and nurture them physical, emotional, mental and religious or non-religious. Slowly losing their sense of their spiritual being, their nature, their identity. Divided in two and scattered in many pieces they keep searching, unconsciously, for their natural being. For their self-worth, their right to exist and BE. To Be the human they are and to live with other human beings in harmony and peace. As happened once to me too.
Living life in a vulnerable state of being, in which one can easily be harmed, influenced and attacked, is not sustainable. It evokes shame, blame, guilt, grief, illusive thoughts, more pain and anger. Intended to find a way to re-balance this unnatural state of being.
People are beautiful creatures and have talents, capacities and an unique intelligence of their own (which differs from an intellect) to create beauty themselves. To share their answers to life questions with love for their own lives and of their fellow human beings.
In the painful circumstances and life stituations many are living in, it is impossible to re-member their stories, they have no access to it. The oral traditions of sharing the stories that are filled with the wisdom of their ancestors are silenced, nature has become a source to profit from instead of seen and treated as a fellow living being and there is an economy created in which you have to pay for your life, instead of being cared of for being alive … so you can stand on you own two feet and feel grounded in the earth that is your home, the one you belong to.
‘Pay or die’ is a reality in many lives. One we created and slowly emerged out of an ‘I divide myself to control others’ mentality, that turned into a ‘we are divided and conquer all’ reality, regardless the consequences.
‘The intuitive mind is a sacred gift and the rational mind is a faithful servant. We have created a society that honors the servant and has forgotten the gift.’
~ Albert Einstein ~
My dilemma
So I struggled, being who I am, with the question if I should make a distinction between what I share with a free member, a paid or a founding one.
As grateful as I am for anyone who values what I do and supports me financially, it didn’t felt right for me to exclude the ones who are unable to pay for it. Having met bright, gentle, talented and intelligent people who live in slums and shacks. Covered up under a veil of disbelieve that they too are meant to be shining too, from the inside out and share their beauty with the world. Making it a better place.
At the same time I am very aware of the economic realities and how it’s shaped in this world and I am not open to give my work away for free.
The option to put up a barrier of paid subscriptions and invite the ones who are unable to pay for it to send me an e-mail so I can admit them for free, sounds kind. However it can be shame inflicting and when not purely managed it implies that one is in debt and should in return at least be grateful. I know, I have been there.
Shameless people on the other hand will find it a jolly cheap way to get access to the work and use it to enrich themselves, making them look great (in my view: often with blown up or drawn back charismas, ready to explode or implode …).
In my experience, you can only give something away if there are no hidden agendas and unnamed expectations, so there is no unspoken atmosphere of guilt and blame created in which both unconsciously attach themselves to each other as being the saviour and the needy. And when the act is not based on an inequality as human beings, rather than an inequality of life situations, circumstances, beings ... but on an equality of being.
When a decision is made thoughtfully, based on pure intentions to serve the well-being of all involved (whatever this means and will lead to) one can freely share and both will enjoy the gift in their own lives and grow together in an awareness of the many dimensionsof life and levels of existence.
I stumbled on this dilemma inside myself, what to do …? Realizing that I only know my own intentions and bounderies and have no say in the intentions of others.
In search for an answer life offered me kindly one to consider.
‘It’s the cardinal difference between gift and commodity exchange that a gift establishes a feeling-bond between people (…) One’s freely given gift cannot be made into someone else’s capital’
~ Lewis Hyde ~
An answer to consider
I was just reading Braiding Sweetgrass again, in Dutch this time. When I remembered a dream Robin Wall Kimmerer shared in the chapter ‘The gift of Strawberries’.
The dream made her aware of the reciprocity that emerges when something is shared as a gift. It made her feel humble and grateful, and she took it at heart to care for the gifts she received for free out of respect for the one who shared them with her, the gift itself and her own self-respect and -worth. Because you don’t mess with something created by someone else, whether this is a plant who created a strawberry, an animal who made milk, a human who knits you socks. Sharing a gift creates space for compassion and humanity.
A gift is gifted with a responsibility. It has a natural ability that asks of anyone to be respected and cared for. To value it by sharing and giving it forward so it can create a set of relationships and its value can grow.
And … the responsibility doesn’t disappear when a gift is not treated this way.
My wish is to be all of me and share my ‘gifts’ in a way that they remind people who they truly are. And looking back in my life and what I am creating at this moment, it seems to me that my life and work are starting to converge to give shape to this wish.
Many times I have experienced how reciprocity is active in (my) life, and that what we share returns to us. To make us aware of what is present in our unconsciousness. By living it, it will become a conscious knowing. A knowing, an awareness that is rooted in a earned by life wisdom, enabling the Universe to share its gift to us as human beings.
And the only gift I know of that is too precious to keep for one’s self is love.
True love that doesn’t negotiate, that is open to be lived and is shared in the many metaphorical stories of our ancestors. The Myths of the Earth, who still share (to makes understand) how the energy of life tells itself to and through us to let us grow, develop and evolve as human beings and in our humanity. To serve all lives and living beings.
You know what’s right, so do right. It satisfies your soul’
~Maya Angelou ~
Knowing that reciprocity is the key that creates change I decided that:
The newsletters and publications of The Art of CCB(s) will be free available and shared as a gift.
In an awareness that a gift comes with a responsibility to respect and care for the work, the creator of it and yourself as receiver. To take out of it and internalize what leads to growth, development and awareness of your humanity and let go of what no longer serves, so that you can share (more of) your own inner beauty with the world as your gift to yourself and your fellow human beings.
I leave it to anyone’s abilities, possibilities, considerations and conscience to show your appreciation and value the seeds of the posts in ways you can, and the ones who are open to and can afford it; by upgrading to become a paid or founding member of The Art of CCB (s). Receiving your support would be an honor and a blessing and welcomed with open arms and a warm heart. Making it possible for me to keep sharing my inner beauty this way too.
Maybe needless to say and to be sure, I would like to add that: all publications of The Art of CCb(s) are intended for private reading and viewing. To experience and enjoy them. We, Alja Zwierenberg and Ans Rijpert founders and owners of The Art of CCB(s), greatly appreciate it when you respect our rights by not misusing the work or making financial gain from it, as stipulated by law. All rights are reserved. To reproduce and/or publish a publication a written permission is required.
You’re wholeheartedly invited and welcome to join!
Alja
